Always Easier Said Than Done…

Always Easier Said Than Done…

It’s always said that things are always easier said than done, this is so true for anyone trying to lose weight, change a lifestyle or break old habits.  As a busy mom of 3 boys working full time and juggling an hour long commute, 2 different sports practice schedules, homework, tutoring and life in general I have found it so much easier to fall off the wagon than it is to stick with it. Why?  Why does it take so much energy to learn how to juggle it all and find that happy medium without being so overly exhausted that you reach the point of feeling like you have lost your mind?  Well, I guess you just put on your big girl panties and suck it up and stop crying, easy right?

Back in 2003 I had reached my highest weight ever, I had my second son who was now 2 and I was miserable, gross and was done, I was depressed, inactive, hated photos, my asthma was worse it had ever been and lets be real, couldn’t even have the lights on if you know what I mean (wink wink).  At 305 lbs I started my journey to Gastric Bypass Surgery regardless of what anyone thought, I knew I needed help.  So here we go… I had the surgery in late 2003 spent 3 days in the hospital feeling and smelling like garbage, I could not wait to get home to shower and begin my new life.  I had a pretty good recovery and only problem I really encountered was heart burn and lactose intolerance, not bad considering the list of issues that can come along with a major surgery.   Once I was cleared I was working out, I had myself a gym partner and after work I would come home fix dinner for the family get my boys settled and off to the gym I went.  3 days a week I would spend 1.5 hours working up a sweat and using the machines.  I would walk a mile every day at work on my lunch hour and eventually got a treadmill at home and I was seeing results and becoming happy again, I felt good about myself, I felt pretty, some days I felt down right sexy, I got down to 175 lbs and life changed.  Fast forward to February 2006 (2 years 4 months later) I found out I was pregnant.  No problem I thought, I got this, well so I thought!  I delivered in September 2006 was diagnosed with depression by November 2006 and by June 2007 my marriage was over.

I kept up on my eating properly but lost all workout motivation.  I went through tons of emotional craziness before I finally settled into routine in late 2009, was maintaining my weight at 180 lbs, I felt good, was still eating low to no carb and high protein, started dating my old high school sweetheart and by February 2010 we were engaged, I had him on board with healthy eating then I discovered wine.. OH MY I LOVE MY WINE 🙂 and by 2012 I was back up into the 220’s and miserable yet again, and I had every excuse in the book, I was tired, I was exhausted, I was busy, I had the boys.   Then I was introduced to Advocare, I started meal prepping, hiking, walking, even dabbled in running.  Found myself back down at 200lbs, starting to feel confident and you could not keep me from running daily, 3 am, 4 am rain or shine I was out there I was finally forming into a strong healthy mom.  I decide to sign up for a half marathon in June 2014, start training,  then one month before the race BAM you are trying to do yard work and have on confrontation between a wheel barrel and cement, next thing you know you are in the ER trying to explain what happened while doctors are trying to keep a straight face.  I spent May to October in a knee brace dealing with MRI’s and PT while they determine if I need surgery  due to extent of injury.  I had a great PT Dr and by end of October he told me to come prepared in workout clothes and bring my running shoes, WHAT?!?  I showed up, he took me outside and said “Ok, run, show me” after 5 minutes he said “Brandi, with as bad as your knee was I cant believe I am going to say this but you are free to run!”  WHOOO HOOO BEST DAY EVER!! So I thought, I had lost all my motivation and mojo.

In May 2015 I signed on with a personal trainer and was finally back at it, going to the gym every night, running, weights, eating healthy and everything was going great and in August my kids transferred to a new bigger school (from a school of 25 total kids to a school of over 1000) and they were presenting with so many opportunity’s with sports that my days, nights and weekends were consumed with football, basketball,wrestling homework, tutoring, cooking, cleaning, commuting and in all this you have every intention to be healthy, meal prep, converting your living room to a home gym  and you wake up one day and realize it has been 3 months and your 9 year old using the weight bench more than you do and here you are, now 235 lbs and miserable, depressed and hating yourself, and no one to blame but yourself!

So here we are.. March of 2016 and digging deep to find that motivation to get back into that healthy state, I started a Gastric Bypass pouch reset, I re-printed my personal triaing works outs and I am about to become my own competition.  The hardest part?  For me, the voices in my head. ( I swear I’m not crazy, I don’t answer the voices… all the time lol) The time is now, this is my journey, this is my start, this is the end of my excuses.  Follow me or pass me by, but thanks for stopping by. Come back by soon see what you are missing 🙂